September 30, 2008
The Biden / Palin debate is two days away
But it’s never too soon to spin…
Let’s go ahead and run an ad
Proclaiming Palin’s win.
Why should I wait ’til post-debate
When I can proclaim it bright and early
That my VP-pick so slick outshined
That Biden oh-so-surly?
The reason I’m so confident
Is because our strategy is strong.
Sarah, stick to all your talking points
And nothing will go wrong!
Forget about your Russian neighbors.
Don’t tell your pitbull joke.
Please don’t mention Pakistan.
If your mind goes blank, don’t choke!
If the questions start to fly
On the topic of defense
Show confidence! You know your guns!
Just use your common sense.
Show the world that you are Ready!
Say again “I will not blink”.
If you stumble, shrug your shoulders
And just give a little wink.
Don’t listen to the people
Who say that you should quit.
You are everything that I am not —
You’re young! Female! And fit!
I’ll stand by you
Through thick and thin!
When we win!
Together we will build our House
At 1600 Pennsylvania.
The nation will be overwhelmed
By McCain and Palin mania!
We’ll put our Training Plan in place.
You’ll gain some expertise
In all things diplomatic,
Foreign Policy will be a breeze!
In the few short days I’ve known you,
You have earned my trust.
If fate makes you the President,
I’m sure you will adjust.
Though I worry not about my health
Should it go from bad to worse,
My legacy will always be
I put my Country First!