The Hills are Alive With The Sound of Sarah …

September 12, 2008

The Hills are Alive with the Sound of Sarah!

The Hills are Alive with the Sound of Sarah!

 

Sung to the Tune of “Do Re Mi”
DOE, a deer, I like to shoot
Hur-RAY, a cheer I hear a lot.
ME, is what this is all about
FAR, a long long VP shot
SO, who cares if I don’t know?
LA, a note to follow SO
Par-TEE, I love my GOP!
Which will not bring back the doe I shot, oh..

Sung to the Tune of “How Do We Solve a Problem Like Maria”
How do we solve a problem like our Sarah?
How do we make her seem all in the know?
How do we find a word that means our Sarah?
A Hockey Mom, A Pitbull, Anti-Roe.

Many a thing we know we’d like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand.
But how do we make her seem
Not so quite extreme
What do we do about those books she banned…

Oh, how do we solve a problem like our Sarah?
How do we sell inexperience to our Land?

Sung to the tune of “I Have Confidence”
I have competence to rule you.
I have confidence you’ll obey.
I have confidence to rise about the fray.
Besides which you see I have confidence in me!

Strength doesn’t need to be Worthy!
Strength doesn’t need to be Smart!
Strength Isn’t meant to Encumber!
When you go vote – Vote for Me – Do your part !!

I have confidence in confidence alone
Besides which you see I have confidence in ME!!!!!!!

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No Jokes about Palin, No digs on McCain …

September 11, 2008

I woke up this morning
All ready to write
About lipstick on pigs
But it just seemed too trite.

You’ll read no jokes about Palin
No digs on McCain
And nothing about
My election disdain.

My thoughts have gone elsewhere
My fight has gone missing.
I don’t have the heart
For my rhythmical dissing.

Let’s put aside our differences
And focus on that day
When our nation was turned upside down
And nothing seemed okay.

I was living in Hawaii then
Our time zone – a six hour delay.
It was 4:30 AM when I first heard the news
The Twin Towers had toppled away.

The Pentagon had already been hit
The 4th plane still unacccounted for
With all the tragedy that had taken place
How could there still be more?

For just today can we call a truce
Between the red states and the blue?
Can we blend them both together
and make a purple hue?

And quietly raise our eyes toward Heaven
Each of us – – in our own way
Remembering September 11
On this sad anniversary day.


Beware – Do You Dare Read My Palin Nightmare ?!!

September 9, 2008
Inauguration of President Sarah Palin - takes the oath of office

I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.

I dreamt She became the President.
I know that sounds extreme.
I am haunted by this nightmare:
McCain died in my dream…

Our country was in a state of shock.
Nobody could believe it.
And what misfortune the future held
Nobody could conceive it.

She took the Oath of Office
On that cold and windy day.
With her hand perched on the Bible
Our country slowly slipped away.

The first thing that she did that morning
When she came in from the cold
Was to call the Cabinet together
“It’s time for action. Let’s be BOLD!”

“Just go ahead and do your thing.
I need a minute to go pray.
As President of the country now
I need God’s Plan today.”

Down in the Situation Room
There was talk of terror, talk of doom.
A hostage crisis was unfolding.
It was an urgent meeting they were holding.

When President Palin waltzed into the Room
The military brass jumped at attention.
All worried about her leadership now
Among them, no dissention.

“Our embassy was stormed today
The terrorists now rule it
They have guns and bombs and poison gas
All within their evil tool kit.”

“Options 1 thru 4 are diplomatic
And unlikely to succeed.
Options 5 thru 9 use tactical force.
Tell us how we should proceed”

“No time to think. I will not blink.
I’m fully in command.
Just do something doggone it!
And use a heavy hand.”

“There are three world leaders who need to talk”
Five minutes later she was told.
She shrugged her shoulders and proclaimed,
“Not now, put them on hold”.

The Dow just dropped a thousand points!
World stock markets are crashing!
The United States cannot withstand
This economic thrashing!

All color drained from her face so strained.
Her voice cracked, but then went mute.
Her eyes went wide like the moose that died
That day she went out on that shoot.

Reporters packed the Briefing Room
Anxious questions filled the air.
They were waiting on the President
She had to be somewhere…

“Make them leave! Get rid of them!
President Palin said with great ire
I’ll do what I’ll do and I won’t go through
their baptism by fire ”

“But Madam, the country is in despair!
You must talk to them through the Press.” – he cried
“No reporters allowed here in my House
While I’m under such duress”. – she replied

Back in the hallowed halls of Congress
There were some who made a speech
At the end of Her First Day in Office
On their duty to impeach.

And then I woke up in a sweat.
The nightmare churning in my head
I should never have watched that video
Before heading off to bed.

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Sarah Palin: Whew! It’s hard to beat my Schoolin’ !

September 8, 2008
The Palin College Collage

The Palin College Collage

I’ve been questioned about my background
And my political expertise.
My educational experience
Should put you all at ease.

I started out at UH-Hilo
in 1982.
Left after a few weeks out there – –
The rain just spoiled the view.

Made my way to Honolulu
To Hawaii Pacific College
Assured of my good judgment
In my pursuit of greater knowledge.

I finished that semester
In the Fall of ’82
Then decided that Hawaii
Had advantages too few.

I headed East to Idaho
For two semesters where
At the North Idaho College
I was a “General Studies” major there.

Then I moved to U of Idaho
In the Fall of ’84.
Stayed only two semesters
I was ready to move some more!

I studied up in Alaska
In the Fall of ’85
Then went back down to Idaho
Such a beautiful long drive!

Whew! In ’87 I graduated from Idaho
With a Journalism degree.
Now I’m ready to be Vice-President
In the “Land of the Free” !!

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Sarah Palin to the Media: I don’t have to talk to you!!!

September 6, 2008

I Am Sarah Palin.
I don’t have to talk to you.
Just replay my Big Convention Speech
If you want my point of view.

My new pals from dear John’s campaign
They said I should lie low.
It’s not to our advantage now
To compare me with “that Joe”.

Why should I answer questions
When it’s already been made clear.
I’m for guns and nuns and moose in buns
No choice, No voice, No fear.

Don’t ask me about the Middle East.
Don’t ask me about Tibet.
Don’t ask me about the housing crisis
Don’t ask me about the Debt.

Don’t ask me about the Shiites
Don’t ask me about the Sunnis.
From my personal perspective
They are all a bunch of loonies!

Don’t ask me who world leaders are.
It’s hard to keep them straight.
Is that cute Tony Blair over there somewhere?
Isn’t Yeltsin still Head of State?

Yes, I Am Sarah Palin!
I need not be interviewed.
I’m just much more content you see
To be cheered rather than boo’d !

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What Could Be More Dull I Ask, Than Watching John McCain?

September 5, 2008

I listened to his speech last night –
50 minutes down the drain.
What could be more dull I ask
Than watching John McCain ?

I must confess to you right now,
I was hoping for a gaffe.
An amusing little anecdote
to make my readers laugh.

No, there’s nothing really funny
To say about McCain
To use a well-worn phrase here:
He’s more of just the same.

So how do you make people
feel like they’re impassioned
When you’re stuck with a candidate
who’s just so old-fashioned?

The only time his eyes lit up
Was when he talked about his Sarah.
The one sharp edge to his dull campaign –
She’s his midlife Porsche Carrera!

He’s lucky at the age of 72
To show off his mom with pride.
Some consolation regarding his VP Pick:
Longevity is on his side !

There was lots of time spent reminiscing.
But the present day was oddly missing.

No concrete plans were revealed tonight
Only “Change Change Change Change Change”!
But it sounded like the same policies
Just slightly rearranged
.

He ended the night screaming “Fight with me!”
To thunderous cheers so hearty.
Are we finally beginning the end of the reign
Of the (not so) Grand Old Party?

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The Sarah Palin Convention Speech – Oh What a Night!

September 5, 2008
Sarah Palin convention speech

Sarah! Sarah! Sarah!

Those Republicans
Were thrilled last night!
Their smiles so wide
Their teeth so white!

When their VP pick
Walked on the stage,
She was ready for battle!
She was fully engaged!

There’s usually a film
Before the “Big Talk”
But for some reason,
Tonight they balked.

Now what was the reason
I began to wonder.
Was it lack of substance?
Or just a blunder?

Well Never-the-less
It doesn’t matter.
It was time for the speech,
But there was so much chatter!

People were cheering!
People were shouting!
Enthusiastically chanting
for their Palin outing.

“Thank You. Thank You”
“Thank You. Thank You”
“Thank You. Whew!”
“Are You through?”

She proclaimed: “I’m not a member
of the Washington Elite”
As the Republicans
Jumped up from their seats!

And then she ridiculed
that “Community Organizer
Having been a mayor,
She was so much wiser!

We met her children!
Her snowmobiling spouse!
Her Parents! Her future son-in-law!
It was quite the full house !

Hail to Sarah!
Our Conservative Wonder!
Deliver us from evil
And Democratic Blunder!

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